Sirens were beautiful creatures from Greek mythology who
lured sailors to their death. The power of their song was so irresistible that
it would cause captains to steer their boats into the rocks.
We are seduced daily by proposals, promises, and
perspectives that may leave us shipwrecked too, unless we learn and relearn the
power of saying no. Investor Mark Suster has warned of the peril of shiny new
objects. He says, “Everything you say ‘yes’ to is incrementally one more thing
you must support with time, energy, and personal resources. The result is death
by a thousand cuts. I strongly believe that your successes will be more defined
by what you choose not to do than by what you choose to do.”
Why is saying “no” so hard for us? One well-known
psychologist suggests three reasons:
1.
Accommodation: We say “yes” when we want
to say no. This usually comes when we value the relationship above the
importance of our own interests.
2.
Apprehension: We say no poorly and then
feel guilty. Sometimes we are fearful or resentful of the request and overreact
to the person asking by saying no when we do not mean it.
3.
Avoidance: We say nothing at all because
we are afraid of offending the other party. We hope the problem will disappear,
but it does not. We end up obligating ourselves through silence.
But, saying no is far easier when you have the confidence
and foresight that comes from the clear goal a vison brings. Steve Jobs once
said, “I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as much as things we
have done. Innovation is saying no to a thousand things.”
Someone has said, “Saying no is powerful because it’s so
rare.” Instagram founder Kevin Systrom turned down a personal offer from Mark
Zuckerberg to be one of Facebook’s earliest employees. This move could have
cost him hundreds of millions of dollars. But Systrom believed in his own
vision and that staying in school was the right move for his future. As things turned
out, years later Facebook bought his company for more than enough money to put
any regrets to rest.
People like to be liked. We do not want to offend or make
trouble. Rather than saying no, we would rather string people along and hope
that they change their minds or forget their request. But nothing is more clear
and respectful of others or ourselves than stating our conviction clearly and
quickly. And that is exactly what we see Nehemiah doing in chapter 6. When
Sanballat and Geshem seek to derail the completion of the building project, they
offer to meet with Nehemiah to discuss things. Nehemiah says, “No!” It is one
of the most widely quoted verses in the entire book of Nehemiah. It is used by many
people, including a lot of preachers, as a “life verse”. But Nehemiah 6:3 is
the center of Sunday’s text, Nehemiah 5:14 to 6:9. It is far more than a
repository of life verses or morality meanderings. It is a perfect portrait of four
frequent temptations that seek to seduce us into abandoning the vision God has
set before us. We will be delving into all of this on Sunday in a message
entitled, “The Power of No”.
In preparation for the message you may wish to consider the
following:
1. Read Luke 9:51-62 and note Jesus’ emphasis on completing the
task God sets before us.
2. Do you know the second line of the ditty: “Once a job you
have begun, never leave it till it’s done…”?
3. Against the backdrop of “Threats from Within” (last week’s
message) what do verses 14-19 tell us about Nehemiah?
4. What is the connection between the governor’s food allowance
and the people’s ability to pay?
5. Does verse 19 strike you as a bit egocentric?
6. Why do the unholy trinity wish to meet with Nehemiah and
where?
7. How does verse 3, Nehemiah’s response, capture the essence
of the work?
8. What does verse 3(b) tell us about Nehemiah’s involvement in
the project?
9. Why do the enemies persist with false charges in verses 4-7?
10. How are Nehemiah’s words in verse 8 a perfect “life verse”
for ourselves?
See you Sunday!
